Love Letter
Dear Piedmont.
What do we do when we meet someone who allows us to feel so deeply?
This year, I ended up in Puebla because I wanted to experience Day of the Dead to honor death thereby life. Death has become an interesting topic to me after I lost my mother, my closest friend and confidante, four years ago. Opening to this loss, I have gained the embrace of the universe. In Puebla, in my exploration of death, I experienced this deep connection with another person. The type of connection that I call the essence of life. It made me come alive. That connection seemed to lie so far beyond time that the past and the future melted away into obscurity. In our embrace, time appears suspended because I was totally absorbed in the present moment.
The idea of “home” is one of the central themes in my writing. I was born in Korea and hold a Korean passport but lived more than half of my life in the states. Is my home Korea or the states? In the states, I spent equal time on the east coast and west coast. Is my home in NYC or SF? Making it just slightly more complicated, where is my home as I have been a nomad for the last 12 months? What I do know today is that the home that I long for is within me. Because everything that I am longing for through the idea of home -- the sense of security, belonging, love -- is within me. To my surprise, I experienced this exact sense of home in his presence. I was simply being me without feeling the need to wear any masks (that is excluding my facial painting!) There was no need for efforting and discussing our achievements. They did not matter because I felt deeply seen, understood, and protected by him. I was back home.
The quote he shared in the taxi -- “what would you regret not doing in life when you die? -- is one of the quotes I have in my book. What I know is that I would regret it if I did not write this to express my experience.
His last words to me were “Burn bright.” My words to him, hopefully not the last, are to “Embrace the Mystery,” just as Olivia Steel’s the neon art alluded to at the very place where this all began.
With love and gratitude,
Aerin
