On Self-actualization
Self actualizing people have the capacity for spontaneous warmth and intimacy, and they have a sense of humor. Moreover, they are flexible. They experience stress and tension, yet they are seldom immobilized by these feelings, or even knocked off center. They seek to know themselves more and more and will risk new behavior and new sets of circumstances in order to grow and discover new truths about themselves. They may have adventurous spirits that lead them to seek out a lot of change, while others may be more meditative and lead quieter lives. They flow with the “process of becoming,” using their own direct experiences as the true test of authority. Since they do this for themselves, they also trust and respect others’ experiences as being valid.
Self actualizing people have “settled down” into their identities as acceptable people, able to flow with life’s ups and downs. They are more concerned with what is good for the whole. They naturally tend toward service or projects that have meaning and purpose for society at large.
Self-actualization is a description of the whole person in process. Some behavioural terms that happen when we are in the process of self-actualizations are as follows:
A person will begin experiencing in the moment more fully and vividly, with full concentration and without self consciousness. We begin doing for ourselves rather than doing for an audience. This process is tied very closely to the process of creativity - being able to unite completely with the “other” in the moment. The other might be a piece of stone if you are a sculptor, or another person if you are a counselor. When we return to a creative stance in life, rediscovering the things in life that really turn us on, we are beginning to become self-actualizing, in touch with our own inner authority and rightful expression.
Self-actualizing people remain in the moment and have a “growth” response instead of lying or weaseling out when confronted with a painful or prideful situation. They take responsibility for their decisions and actions and experience a sense of freedom in doing so. This freedom, however, can sometimes be lonely or painful at first, until one can shift the feelings of loneliness to an awareness of aloneness, which can be quite rewarding, especially for people who’ve spent most of their lives giving their time and energy away to others.
They will begin “checking themselves out” to see if attitudes or decisions are really their feelings, or if they are unexamined belief systems that come from significant people in their past. They listen to their own “impulse voices” and less to the noises of the world.
They will often experience periods of renewed interest in their own unfolding. They may throw themselves into a chosen task or newly discovered skill or interest. There is a shift away from losing oneself in others to a vital interest in one’s own development, even when certain sacrifices are required. Often periods of disorganization and chaos seem to crop up “out of the blue” at the very time in one’s life when the pattern has become established and easy - as though some deep, intrinsic part of ourselves takes over and says, “It’s time to change.”
“Peak Experience” may begin happening to a person in the process of self-actualization. They are those moments in life when even the mundane can become sacred. They can occur under a wide variety of circumstances -- while making love, listening to music, walking through a busy parking lot in the rain, or looking at a sunset. Besides being inherently profound and meaningful, these moments can open up new horizons for us -- giving us a new purpose in life, offering new insight into ourselves, or increasing our regard for people or for the world in general. In short, these experiences assist us in releasing our fullest potential as human beings and remind us of our spiritual significance.
From “Becoming naturally therapeutic” by Jacquelyn Small
